Wow. I don't even know where to begin. I leave for America in the morning and I could not have more emotions running through me. While I am obviously excited to see my friends and family, I am also unbelievably sad and depressed. I have waited for this semester abroad for as long as I can remember, and I cannot believe it is already over. These past three and half months have been some of the best months of my life. I can honestly say that living in Morocco has done more than just cultured me, it has changed who I am. I am now more confident, laid back, open to change and a thousand other things that probably won't hit me until I am back in America. Everyone always says studying abroad is an unbelievable experience, but you don't REALLY know what that feels like until you have experienced it first hand. I don't even have the words to describe how I am feeling right now and I only imagine it gets worse once I am actually back in America and have something to compare it to. The past few days have been extremely nostalgic, but tonight it really hit me that I am actually leaving, for good.
Saying goodbye tonight was one of the harder things I've had to do here (and I have had to do some challenging things). The 19 of us on IES Rabat became more than just good friends, we became a family. Each person brought something unique to the group and truly made it special. We have been though everything together; we've had our ups and our downs and seen each other at our best and definitely at our worst. We had a goodbye dinner tonight at a fancy restaurant downtown and it was filled with toasts, speeches, tears and laughter. It was amazing to hear about how much we all grew in these past three in a half months and how much we have learned about ourselves and about each other. In the beginning, I was nervous when I saw there were only 19 kids on the program. After facebook stalking the majority of them, I was unsure what I had gotten myself into and doubted I'd make any great friends. I kept telling myself that I needed to go in with an open mind, but I was doing this for the experience and being with friends wasn't a priority. I never thought I'd walk away from this chapter in my life with a whole new group of best friends that I KNOW I will keep in touch with and see again. I have met some of the most amazing people and already can't wait to reunite back in the states. While saying goodbye was difficult, none of us really felt it was goodbye because we knew we'd be seeing each other again soon. Some of my best friends are actually going to come down to NOLA and stay with me for Mardi Gras, so that's only, what? 3 months away?
The next goodbye was with my other Moroccan family, my host family. I came home from dinner and we all took pictures and sat around talking in the kitchen. They helped me stuff my last minute things into my suitcase and hugged and kissed me lots. However, after our 8th "goodbye" they all just decided they are going to come to take me to the airport tomorrow, so we still have one final goodbye in the morning:) My siblings are definitely going to be the hardest to leave behind. My mom and dad were amazing, but my siblings and I have an unbelievable connection. Kawtar and I have been close since day one, but more recently Oussama and I have really bonded. Lately, he has come into my room more and more; he comes in and just sits on my bed and hangs out with me. Today he came in, saw my packed bags, and stormed out. He then came back in a minute later and said "la, la, la... Becca LA tmshee, LA" (no no no, becca you are NOT leaving, NO) and started to UNPACK my suitcase. Kawtar, meanwhile, is convinced she is going to jump into my suitcase at the last minute and come back to America with me. When I told my host mom this tonight she said "good, take her!". She is definitely going to be the hardest one to say goodbye to. We have truly become sisters and I am going to miss her more than anyone. The other night she stayed in my room until almost one a.m. and completely opened up to me. She told me things that she said she has never told anyone before. She even downloaded skype the other day so we could continue our chats face-to-face once I am back home.
It is after midnight and I have to get up at 5am to begin my 19-hour journey home. I am sure in those 19 hours I will get bored and write another post about how much I already miss Morocco though, so don't worry!
The next morning we got up and began our long day of shopping. Essouira is an adorable little place with a small medina right on the water. It is not a place with any monumental touristy-sites, but it has a great beach and great shopping. We shopped the morning away and then walked around by the ocean for a while. We got some fried fish (their specialty), got some DELICIOUS gellato (legit best I've had in Morocco) and came back to our riad to hang out and watch a movie. The next morning we got up and took the bus back to Casa and then back to Rabat. Although it was a very long ride there and back, the trip was very worthwhile. Not only did I get to see an adorable little town that I had heard so much about, but I also got to spend one of my last weekends away with some of my best friends. I am starting to get really sad about leaving. I am obviously excited to see my family and friends back home but I love it here and my time here flew by way too fast. It took a little while to really feel at home and comfortable here but now that I feel that way I am not ready to go back to America! When we pulled into Rabat tonight my friends and all breathed a sigh of "thank god, we're home". It's funny how Rabat has actually become home for us. All in all, it was a great last weekend before the cramming for finals week begins.